It’s not often I find myself at a loss of words. It’s more likely I’m struggling to filter through the labyrinth of ideas that is my mind. But every once in a while, I struggle to find words that do justice to the overwhelm within. Because how does one capture this…

               One day you are nineteen, starting your life together and you have your whole life planned out. And then two pink lines tell you that ‘man may plan his ways, but the Lord determines his footsteps’?

               One day you think, ‘if this baby could just let me get some sleep at night!’ And the next you stay up late because that’s when she has time to talk.

               One day you’re taking a picture of that first toothless smile. And the next you see a picture of her on a driver’s license.

               One day you wish this toddler of yours didn’t reflect your hot-blooded stubbornness. And the next you realize there is no greater joy than to see her walk in truth, and a good dose of stubbornness gives you comfort she will hold her own.

               One day you are asking, ‘what in the world is home-schooling?’. And the next you’re clicking a submit button on a diploma order.

               So many, many days spent wrestling with the weight of making parenting decisions, the tug-of-war of is-this-the-best-yes?? And one day you realize while she is growing right before your eyes, you are the one being remade.

And this wrestle within has you in awe. It’s not despite your less-than performance at parenting, that she is amazing. It is through it. Because the Maker writes masterpieces not despite my efforts to mess them up, but through my efforts to mess them up. What kind of grace is this??

So you lay it all at the foot of the cross and can’t believe you get to call her ‘yours’.

Scratch that last part. You Do believe. That’s how all this is possible.